bikerides and nut thins

i have the privilege of being a mother of a sparkly little girl.  i exercise this privilege as a single parent. i am really good at a lot of things.  multitasking, cleaning, cooking, hosting play dates, entertaining, soothing, holding, helping, encouraging.  i can even do some of these things simultaneously.  and for the most part i do these things alone. 
i don’t need someone to take my trash out - that’s why i have legs.  
i certainly don’t need anyone to pay my rent or my heating bills - i’ve worked that out in my budget.  and i also don’t need help raising my daughter.  or at least that’s what i tell myself every day.  
but then things like tuesday happen.  the idea of a bike ride was brought up by my love and a little girl squealed with delight and immediately ran into her bedroom to don the appropriate “costume” for a bike ride.  
and suddenly, something inside of me settled.  my anxiety about finding something to make for dinner, cleaning our gross floors and parenting suddenly lifted.  someone was going to share this burden with me today.  if only for 20 minutes i didn’t need to hold her up alone.  
and i was reminded that i don’t have to do it alone all the time.  

celiac disease does the same thing to me.  i have to do it alone.  i hold this lifestyle alone.  parties, restaurants and even communion all remind me that i am “different” and that i don’t need help - i can do this gluten free thing.  it fluffs my feathers a bit and i hold my gluten-free banner high.  in this world - i have this figured out.  
i have gluten free by the neck.
but in reality its been 15 years and i still do not want to do this alone.  
as much as i have it down - it still is hard to not eat a hamburger on a bun.  but guess what.  i am a part of this amazing community and they showed up.  do you want to know how? my friend sara had nut thins at her house (AND I DID NOT BRING THEM!).  pecan nut thins.  i went to a dinner party and had crackers and cheese just like the cool kids.  
now, i can take care of myself.  i can bring nut thins to a party.  but now i don’t have to because ALL my friends have them FOR me.  and they cook gluten free meals FOR me.  i don’t ask and they don’t feel obligated - they just do it.  just like the 20 minute bike ride troy took with lillian, they share the celiac disease burden with me every time we share a meal together.  
and if for just that meal - i don’t need to hold myself up alone.